From the Writer's Desk -- Summer's Here!

I can't believe I haven't been back here since April.  I got busy. And my computer screen decided to work intermittently, with long periods of not working. Then friends of mine bought me a round-trip ticket to Orlando for a long weekend. And...

If you miss too many days or times of doing something, it becomes infinitely easier to continue not doing it.

Time management has not been my friend the last few months. On the good side, summer is here, officially this week, and R has a job and has met new friends through the job. S/he is getting a ride home from work most nights. So, I have more time to myself.

I have been writing though. That's a good thing. I've been writing long hand -- I posted pictures on my Instagram (you can find me there as Simone.Anderson7 .)  I finally got it all transcribed this past Saturday, in thanks mostly to my writing group's write-in. But, it means that my 70K word book will be 100K words. There is no getting around it. And I'm not sure that 20K is enough to tell the rest of this story. I'll write it until ends then I plan on doing a quick revision before putting it aside for 3-4 weeks, then do a complete revision. I've been wanting this finished for months now, I really want it done by the end of this month. To do that, I have to write 1150 words a day. Completely doable. If I want it bad enough.  I'll continue to post my daily accountability pics on Instagram and will check in again next Monday on my progress.

In the meantime --

Goal:
     30/31 Writing Days
     450/465 Minutes -- 7.5/7.75 Hours
     7,500/7,750 Words (250/15 Minutes)

April's Numbers --
     20 Writing Days
     900 Minutes/15 Hours spent writing
     8,122 words written (the most so far this year)

May's Numbers--
     14 Writing Days
     315 Minutes/5.25 Hours
     2,755 Words

So - April overall was a win and May wasn't, but I made a huge amount of progress, so I'm thrilled.

So far in June, I've only written 7 days. So, there is room for improvement.

I can't wait to finish this story.  I want to submit it to my publisher this fall.

Blessings,
Simone.
 

From the Writer's Desk - Mid-October Check-In

Hard to believe that it's mid-October already. Two weeks until Halloween and NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month - you can learn more about that here). This week is also GRL - GayRomLit, and while I wish I could be there, I know I'll get back there eventually and I have met some of the most amazing people there.

I plan on participating in NaNoWriMo, I hope to go to some of the write-ins, but I don't always make those, because there are days when it's hard to be around people or in confined/tight places. But, I enjoy writing with others. I miss the writers retreats I went on before I got super busy in the fall - R was in marching band in high school.

This past week, my goals were to spend 7 hours writing or on writing related tasks.

I spent 8 hours on writing related things - some writing, organizing, work on my website, and research. I spent 3 hours and 45 minutes writing. I spent another 10 hours on research and organization not related to writing. So, goal met, although, not nearly as much writing as I'd like to get done.

The second goal, was to tackle one declutter task a day. Sort of. I missed one day, but then I started a larger task and still haven't finished it. So, maybe not.

I finished "The Write Type" by Karen Peterson. It was pretty good. I learned some new things. Others were confirmed, and some of it didn't apply to me.

Goals this week are a lot like last week:

Spend 7 hours writing or on writing related tasks. - Aim for more writing than writing related tasks.

Tackle one declutter/purge task every day.

Blessings,
Simone. 

From the Writer's Desk - Where did January Go?

The month is almost gone.  I swear that adage that time goes faster as you get older is true. Sort of. Honestly, I think that time flies, because we live for the weekend.  As in "I can't wait until the weekend so I can..." - go fishing, watch a movie, see my friends, stitch, sew, write, read, bake.  It's the weekend where we live. Many of us. But I don't want to live just on the weekend.  I want every day to be like that. For me, that comes with writing. I would rather be writing.  If I write for a living, which is my goal, then my non-writing hours are filled with other things I enjoy. None of it includes working in cube-farm. My best friend, she loves her day job, which is very linear and in a cube-farm.

I've spent most of January so far trying to find that balance between writing, the day job, and what I need to decompress. Some days, it's just finding time to write. Using the Bullet Journal has been a big help.

Everyone writes different, they have different rituals, different comforts, different environmental needs, different habits. And those change over time.

Sometimes what I need in the way of environment changes - one day it may be my desk, another at Barnes and Noble or a coffee shop. I always need something to drink, but sometimes eating doesn't happen at all, or I'll need chocolate or crunchy, or everything in sight. But, I've found while I like writing with people around - like during write-ins, or finding a corner during a conference to write with whoever sits down, I like my space. I don't like to be too crowded. And I write best in fifteen minute increments. So, even if I'm do a 1k in 1hr challenge, I still break it up into 15-minute increments. My friend Brynn Paulin shared this story about a prolific writer named Anthony Trollope who wrote in 15-minute increments for 3 hours before going to a day job. I find I can waste a lot of time if I have an hour to write. But, 15 minutes - I'm less likely to procrastinate. So, I may write for an hour, but I've done in 15-minute spurts.

With my Bullet Journal, I created a couple of different spreads - one is my Sprint Log

I use my Sprint Log to track the date I work on a specific project, the starting and ending word count of each round, and the difference. My goal is 250 words each round. I use the timer feature on my laptop to keep track. I like it, because it interrupts the music - either from iTunes or YouTube - I'm listening to.

Set up - top of Spread

 Both pages. I write the abbreviation for each title at the bottom.

 The other spread I have is a word count tracker. Coloring in the boxes feels like an accomplishment - that I'm one step closer to my Goal. Each of my active WIPS has a layout. Each square is 1,000 words, and each of the smaller squares inside it are 250 words.

Goals -

So, my goals the last time I posted them were 500 words per session, writing 5 times a week. Or 2,500 words in a week.  Carrying that from the week of the 9th over to the week of the 16th, that would be 5,000 words total. Now, I didn't write 5 times a week. I wrote 5 times total, BUT I did manage to write 7,018 words since the 9th.

My other goal was 2 hours of research and world building. Carrying that over from the 9th to the 16th, that would 4 hours. I totally didn't make that one. At all.

Goals this week are the same.
1. Write 500 words per session, 5 days a week.
2. 2 hours of Research/world building - Forbidden

It's always when I need to be doing something else that I feel the drive to write. I need to sit down and write even when I don't have the drive.

Blessings,
Simone.

From the Writing Desk - On Fear

In Frank Herbert's "Dune" Paul Atreides recites a prayer against fear:

     "I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain."  

 In the William Hurt version of the movie, the Reverend Mother mocks him for this prayer.  The prayer gives him strength, brings him peace, it releases him from the grip of fear.  The sentence "Fear is the mind-killer" speaks the truth, but not all of it.


While not necessarily literally killing your mind, it does kill your creativity, your desire to live, your happiness, your dreams, and possibly even your love life.  Fear is powerful. It is the reason why it is so often used as a means to control populations.

Fear is big things like war, disease, plane crashes, and death, but it is also a small, persistent, and sometimes loud voice that is responsible for things like:

     You're not good enough.
     You'll never succeed.
     You'll never get published.
     You'll never get that role or sign that album deal.
     You'll never graduate.
     You didn't EARN your spot.
     You'll never measure up to X, Y, or Z. 
     You'll never get ahead. 
     You'll never change.
     You'll never make money with that dream.
     You'll never achieve your dreams.
     You'll succeed, but everyone will figure out you're a fraud.

LIES.

Every single thing fear says is a lie.  It's not say everything will be sunshine and rainbows, but fear lies. It keeps you sedentary, stagnant, and under it's -- or someone else's -- control.  It keeps dreams and miracles from happening.

Fear is what is causing my brother's 22-year marriage to fracture.  Because he's afraid to follow his dreams, fear is manifesting itself in pursuit of a relationship with another woman.

Fear of success, of failure, of looking like a fool or fraud.  Fear of the unknown.

Fear is paralyzing.

Fear is also only as powerful as you allow it to be.

One of those inspirational posters that I've seen around the VA and assorted Military-related places has a saying that makes sense to me.

"Courage isn't the absence of fear, but facing it and doing it anyway."

The book I'm reading, The Power of Focus, relates a story about a firefighter and fear.  Firefighters face fear every time they run into a burning building, but they acknowledge it then go in anyway. One of the section ends with this quote:

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear."

I wrote it on a sticky note and taped it to the wall in my office.  It sparked a discussion with one of my co-workers.  For most people change is scary.  If you have kids or other people depending on you, change can be down right terrifying -- paralyzing.

The hardest part when facing fear is not to figure out what you're scared of, it's to take the first step.  It's been suggested to answer the question - what is the worst that can happen? Seriously, I'm a writer with a vivid imagination, depending on what that question is in relation too, that could be pretty grisly.  But, in relation to being a writer....the worst that can happen is that the publisher, agent, or editor says no.  Okay, yes, the rejection letter you receive is very professional and says, thanks but no thanks, or fix these things and resubmit, even though it reads like you're the worst human imaginable and everyone in the office laughed at your feeble attempt at a story.  And if you succeed? You'll be exposed as a fraud?  Unless you're actually plagiarizing someone else's work or lying about credentials, or stating a story is absolutely true and not just based on true events, this isn't that will actually be of concern. Publishing is a business, and regardless of what people like my ex tried to tell me, they aren't going to buy something to laugh at you.  Publishers buy books or sign contracts with authors to make money.  They want the best storytellers because that's how they make money.

Once you answer the question, what is the worse that can happen, the hard part is taking a step into fear.  It is far easier to clean my house, play computer/video games, watch television, or read a book than it is for me to write.  My biggest challenge appears to be a focus issue, not in the form of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder, which is a real condition that needs to be diagnosed by a doctor), but in the form of procrastination.  What is procrastination, but a form of fear (it's also laziness or lacking in urgency, but for me in writing, it's a form of fear).  When it comes right down to it, I'm afraid that I'm not good enough or that I'm a fraud - in that I didn't earn the book sale.  It plays with low self-confidence.  The reasons could take some digging, but I have to ask myself is tracking down the reasons, which could be multiple, a good use of my time, or can I successfully knock the reasons aside, make a plan, throw in some accountability, and do it any way?

The therapist I see told me once that the why doesn't matter.  I looked at her like she'd grown three heads. Of course the why mattered.  How else was I going to get through it? Get better?  It took a lot of soul searching before I realized what she meant.  The why, the reason or reasons behind this or that can be varied and numerous.  Understanding the why, isn't going to give me the push forward.  What it does, is keeps me tethered to the same place. It's impossible to move forward, if you're always looking back.  The reason why doesn't matter.  The action does.  And it's easier for fear to find you if you stand still, are stagnant.

A while back I created a Strategic Plan for my writing career and life.  It didn't factor in fear or stress, which while different absolutely opens the door for fear to invite itself in.  In early September I discovered a new planning system, Bullet Journal, and while planners aren't new to me, so far this seems to be working.  Creating an action plan, along with manageable goals that take into account that not only do I have a full time day job and family commitments, I am dealing with mental health issues that can make getting things done difficult.  I also gave myself permission to take time off when I need it, like when my mom called me in tears because she'd been diagnosed with cancer.

I bought a cheap graphing notebook and started sketching a new story in it.  It's dark, the music that is shaping the soundtrack, the images that caught my attention on Pinterest, and images of the story arch that I've seen are all dark. I have books I need to write, stories I've started and are still waiting to be finished, but I'm afraid that if I work on one of those I'll either ruin the story or I'll stop part way through.  It's happened in the past.  Would it happen again? Maybe.  Maybe not. But a dark story idea arrived and it's a good place to channel the energy that is flowing.

My goals this week (Monday thru Sunday) are:

Research/Story Development/Character Development: 4 hours
Writing: 3 times, 500 words each session
WIP: Forbidden

Next Monday, I'll review what I accomplished.  I'll post them on Facebook page too, because accountability is important.

I write slow, for now.  At some point I'll write faster, but as long as I world build to the extent that I enjoy, it only makes sense to include it in my goals. 

From the Writing Desk

It’s interesting how some events have me leaving the writing world behind while others have me turning toward it and the hope that can be found there.  The types of events – of stressors may have a large part to do with it.  Stress from a lack of money or environmental/financial stability is more likely to have me leaving my computer and my writing, than one that reminds me that life is short. That this is the Final Run Through, not a dress rehearsal.  There are no do-overs.  The same opportunities may present themselves more than one, but you are never the same person the second or third time that you were the first time.

I have a writing plan, one that I developed using the techniques I learned from a Strategic Planning for Non-Profits class I took some years ago. It made sense to me.  Writing has two parts, a business side and the artistic side. The business side seems to be taking a bit longer to understand than the artistic side, which is completely natural for me. Strategic Planning for Non-Profits fit neatly with-in how I view the business side of writing. The first part of that though, the very first, very basic step is too write.

There are a couple of different schools of thought on that – one is to write every day, another says when the inspiration strikes, and a third basically states life is nuts, schedule it, but don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day.

Pinterest is the black hole of time, and I freely admit to spending way too much time there. But, I’m also a visual person, so I keep boards of stories and worlds I’m working on or ideas that come to me in the form of pictures instead of words.  Because, I suck as an artist and it’s easier to start a board than copy it down or print the pictures out, cut them out, and tape them into my writers journal – which I do. Probably more than I should.

I used to have a goal to write 2000 words a day. That’s fantastic, but not realistic for me at the moment. I have a teenager. They’re involved in band, and they are also dealing with some heavy crap right now. 500 words 3 to 5 times a week. If writing is also my self-care – fantastic, I get to do it. If it’s not, then it doesn’t get done. My goal is to write full-time and not have to work outside my home again.  Not because I don’t like my day job, I do. And I believe in my organization’s mission 110%. But, I would rather be writing. I want to not have leave my house in a snow storm. I want to be my own boss.

I can totally see the following conversation happening with any one of my editors:

Me – I’m taking a snow day, there’s a blizzard out.

Editor – You work from home. You never have to get dressed.  You can write.

Me – Yeah, but it’s snowing outside, and I want to take a snow day. I have the vacation time…

Editor – You don’t get vacation time. You have a deadline to meet.

Me – But there’s a blizzard…

Editor – Deadline…

I have the best editors and have a great relationship with them, so this wouldn’t be a bad thing.  But, knowing my goals, figuring out the steps, and working toward them is the only way to make a dream into a reality.

So, my current Writing Goals, which I’m tracking in my version of the Bullet Journal, which is something I have recently discovered and am in the process of figuring it out and what works for me, are:

Writing Goals - Tracked by Hours

Close-Up -- the numbers are how many hours I wrote that day.  The color of the box represents what I was working on.  I keep track of my word count and WIP in my journal as I write in 15 minute increments and like to know how I'm doing.  I didn't write anything in August.

My 2016 Writing To-Do List is on the opposite page, I pick a colored pencil to use for tracking at random, then keep it in my pencil/pen case.

Reading, exercise, and self care are also in there, but that is something different. For me, a word count works the best. I have started writing more and more in Scrivener, so the page count doesn't work as well, because there are no page numbers unless you take like 4 extra steps, and I have no desire to do that.

I have to figure out the best way to stay accountable here or over on Facebook....

Accountability ---

School is definitely good for the writing. I managed 810 words yesterday in a matter of a couple hours. Yeah. I did write more today, and now that my headache is mostly gone, it's time to get back to my writing. I left my heroes in a precarious position, and I'm sure they would appreciate it if I got back to them.