Midsummer's Dreaming
Hayle St. James’ refusal to continue living a lie when he is
confronted by his family about being gay finds him on the back of a motorcycle
riding through a forest in the middle of the night. What he finds will either
make everything worthwhile or break his heart.
Leife O’Neill has finally found the perfect man. A man who
loves him for him. Hayle is everything he could want in a partner. Too many
things stand in their way. On the night that Leife wants to declare Hayle is
his, reality and responsibility collide with anger and jealousy and more than
one heart is on the line.
Stopping in the middle of the forest to make love under a
full moon seemed romantic, however, Hayle and Leife quickly learn that they are
not alone and not everything is as it seems. One man watches and waits for the
opportunity to confront the man he loves, while another is forced to face the
consequences of his actions and fear. In the span of one night everything
changes, no one is certain of anything anymore and everyone’s lives are
changed.
Excerpt:
“Is it true?”
Hayle St. James blinked and looked across the dinner table
at his father. Anger and hatred washed across his father’s normally stoic face.
Hayle’s stomach bottomed out, dread weighing him down. Dread rushed through his
veins as he processed his father’s question and hoped he was wrong. “Is what
true?” Hayle asked, swallowing around the lump in his throat.
“Don’t play dumb with me boy!” Elliot St. James shouted,
pounding his fist on the table. “You know what I’m talking about. You’re the
same as the Royce’s oldest boy. An abomination!”
Fear settled in Hayle’s chest and made breathing difficult.
“I’m not an abomination,” he replied, trying to keep the apprehension and pain
from his voice.
“Are you one of those sex-craving deviants? An affront to
God?” Elliot demanded. “Get down on your knees and swear you are not a
homosexual—that the rumors I’ve heard are false.”
“Being gay isn’t wrong or evil,” Hayle answered, hedging his
answer. He didn’t want to admit to his father what he’d known since practically
the beginning of puberty, but hadn’t accepted himself until a couple of years
ago. His father’s reaction was most of the reason
he’d never came out to his family. Why he’d never planned on
coming out to his family. Why only a handful of people knew the truth about his
sexuality.
“It is a sin against God and nature,” Elliot said. “Confess
it and repent, or deny it, and we will forget about it.”
Hayle stared at his father then turned his attention to his
mother and his younger brother and sister. How easy would it be to deny the
truth? To remain hidden, to keep the love and affection he had from his family.
What would it cost him? Hayle squeezed his eyes shut. His lover’s words came
back to him. Never be ashamed of who you are, of who you love. Being gay
isn’t evil or wrong. If anything it’s different, but not wrong. Leife
O’Neillhad
captured his heart and had won his trust. Taking a deep breath, praying he was
making the right choice, Hayle shook his head. “No.”
“No, you aren’t gay. Good then you can stay away from¾”
“No, I’m not evil. I won’t confess to something that isn’t
wrong.”
“You’re making no sense boy,” Elliot ground out, hatred and
disgust evident.
Hayle took a deep breath and prayed for strength. “I’m gay,
not evil.”
His mother gasped, his siblings broke down crying and his
father’s face turned red with rage. “You¾how¾what¾” he
sputtered.
“I’m gay. I’ve always been gay,” Hayle said quietly. “I’m
not evil or sex-craving. I simply prefer men over women.”
“He can be fixed, can’t he?” Hayle’s ten-year-old sister
Anya asked. “Can’t he, dad? You can fix him.”
“I’m not broken, Anya, I’m different,” Hayle replied.
“Don’t you speak to her! You’ll corrupt her. Turn her from
the church and the family,” his father said before turning to his
siblings. “Anya, Kyle, go to your rooms.
Now!” he ordered.
“God will fix you,” Kyle said with all of the belief and
confidence of a twelve-year-old as the pair left the kitchen.
“You will renounce it this instance!” Elliot demanded.
“Renounce it?” Hayle asked incredulously. “This isn’t
citizenship or religion. It’s biology. My beliefs haven’t changed. Nothing
about me has changed. I’m still the same person I have always been.”
“You will renounce this abomination or you will get out of
my house! I will not have a sin against God in my house!”
“I am not a sin. I’m a person. I’m not evil or an
abomination,” Hayle exclaimed, standing. Why couldn’t his family accept him? It
wasn’t like he was serial killer or child molester or did drugs or alcohol.
“Get out of my house!” Elliot St. James yelled, leaping up
from his seat, the chair clattering to the floor behind him. “If you don’t
straighten out and ask for forgiveness you’re no son of mine.”
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Hayle protested.
Pain shattered his face, taking his vision out of focus. The
force of the blow sent him stumbling back into the corner of the kitchen
counter. Wood pierced his skin through his t-shirt. His dad stepped closer,
trapping him. Blood trickled down his back as the countertop dug farther into
his flesh.
“Elliot, stop!” his mother Laura screamed.
Hayle’s hand automatically covered his eye and cheekbone
where his father had hit him. Hayle squeezed his eyes shut and slowly opened
them. His world was crumbling around him. Hatred showed in his father’s eyes
before he retreated to the living room.
“Give him a couple of hours to cool down. Pray about it,
pray for God to rid you of this,” his mother said. “How could you do this to
him? To me?” She looked from him to the direction his father had gone.
“To you? Do you honestly think this is a choice?” Hayle
asked. “Do you think I wanted this? That I haven’t prayed to be straight? But
I’m not. Nothing is going to change that. And I haven’t done anything to
you. I didn’t renounce you, dad, the church, or anything else.”
“You have
to leave. I can’t have him angry and hurt. And this,” she waved a hand over him
“needs to remain clear of Anya and Kyle. Go see the pastor. He will know what
to do,” Laura said, looking back to the living room.
“I’m not broken mom,” Hayle said quietly.
“You need to leave. This is his house.”
