I was really hoping for something witty or at least vaguely amusing to get me back into the swing of things. I have nothing. Well, it's not nothing. It just isn't funny or amusing. I have a counselor, but no diagnosis. I have a self developed step by step plan to help me get back to where I need to be. And I have friends and always my writing.
A couple of weeks ago one of those quiz meme's hit my Facebook wall. Well, probably less quiz and more of a things to know about introverts list. I think I hit half. Can you even be half-introvert and half-extrovert? But it helped me realize a few things and left me questioning some things. I like to be around people. I like talking to them, working with them, and when I don't have that interaction I feel cut off from the world. As though I'm nothing. All of my SIL's do the stay-at-home mom thing and they seem to do really well with it. I'm working from home and I keep finding excuses to call and talk to people.
This is not necessarily a good thing. It often leads to procrastination, which as a writer, I'm extremely good at (also not a good thing). But more than that, it can lead to me either over committing myself or taking on too much of someone else's burdens/issues. That is energy and creativity that I'm not using in writing. So, what I really need to do is to find a balance somehow. One that allows me to have those kinds of relationships on multiple levels and still write and find time for my family and hobbies.
It doesn't really fall under the heading of time management, because I have the time. Sometimes, at least, it's more motivational management. And overall, wanting to and wanting to put the work required to find that balance.
Finding balance is something that needs to be worked on and sought, but is not the same thing as wanting to know 'why' I haven't been motivated to do much over the last few months. The 'why' doesn't really matter. It can be depression, but it can also be fear, lack of relationships, too many relationships, lack of stability, lack of change, a full moon, a crescent moon, or any number of a 1000 other things. The 'why' doesn't matter, that's something for journaling, what matters is action. Taking steps like, planting my butt in my chair and making my word count. Making a to-do list and doing it. And spending time each day with my daughter, who is now a freshman.